The impossible

My “new lifestyle” (laughter) involves a lot more gardening and outdoor time.  Now, even though I will romp in a long skirt, they get in the way climbing up hills and get caught on rosebushes.  Also, they don’t do well at the tidepools.  Shorts are called for.

I haven’t been able to find a pair of shorts I didn’t *loathe* for ten years.  Possibly more.

Yesterday, I did.  Linen/rayon.  $10.  JCP.  I bought four pair.  If I wear them with a long-enough shirt, my tummy is covered… as in, they don’t cup under my tummy, which has been a thing.  (A horrible thing).  I bought a couple of new t-shirts too.


This?  This looks like me.  Driver’s arm tan and all.  😀

Reintroduction of food

Dairy:  Yes.  Thank you.  I missed you.  How I missed you.  You make my life complete.  I stopped being hungry.  Never leave me again.

Sugar:  You make me queasy.  You taste good.  But you make me queasy.

Peanut Butter/Legumes:  Eh.  I guess I’d call this a “sometimes” food.  Bod doesn’t cry out for joy, doesn’t complain… much.

Non-wheat grains:  Wow.  Really filling.  Not sure I want very much of this, but I do want a little.  Properly soaked, so filling.   Portion control, much easier.  (Of course the last time I went grain-free for a while, portion control was cake **at first**).

Almost-wheat grains (soaked overnight):  I tried spelt this morning.  I don’t know that the recipe in question was very good – too long a baking at too low a temp, the biscuits were crunchy rather than fluffy.  But spelt has a sweet nutty taste that practically begs to be used in chocolate chip cookies or anything including brown sugar.  I think it would be good in carrot cake.  Grains continue to be madly filling.  AND something you somehow want more of.  I think W30 calls this “food with no brakes”.  Word to the wise – hopefully I’m the “wise” in this case.

Well – it turns out that the daughter and husband loathe spelt, so there’s no problem there.  :p  I do think it would be good in cookies.  Or spice cake.  Gingerbread would be really excellent with spelt flour.

Wheat (DH ordered pizza):  Same ol’, same ol’ – insta bloat, and yet I could eat more, though it makes me feel yucky.    This is not a food I want to have in my life more often than birthday cakes are concerned.  Or when all hands give me puppy eyes and I make pancakes or something.

Alcohol:  Um, I’ll let you know when I can be bothered to have some.  I don’t drink very often, it makes me queasy.  (See:  Sugar).   Like, I can have half a portion or less and be seasick.  Mostly I skip it.  This is not a major part of my life.

Other notes:  13yo and I are both HUGELY full with smaller portions of food than we ate pre-W30, or (in 13yo’s case) skipping meals entirely.  It’s a nice change from scrounging for anything fatty to fill that ??? void the last 10 days of W30.   Of course dairy/grains are much more calorie dense than veggies or meat, so that’s not too weird.   It’s nice though.  Very nice.

So far, we’ve been fairly well behaved with our food intake.   DH got us ice cream the first night.  I regretted eating any.  So queasy after.  :p

I’m feeling much fuller and much more sensitive to how various foods make me feel, which makes making good choices just that much easier.

W30 might not be my life, but it was a good choice.

I went shopping today.  How did 4lb turn into half a dress size?  As in, down half a dress size.  Did they get cute with the vanity sizing again?   I did get some shorts I don’t loathe.  Pix tomorrow maybe.

More planting

A small picture… We have the basic bits of the terracing in, and most of the planting done.  (I can find more interplanting to do).  Reminder to all… these are baby plants, next year or the year after you’ll see them full-size.

(I seriously can’t wait for Spring, it’s going to be *insane*)


Top terrace from the back (you can’t even see it):

  • Tea Tree (4-8 foot shrub, red flowers)
  • Pineapple Sage (3 ft, hot-pink flowers)
  • Lavender (3 ft, purple flowers)
  • Russian Sage (3 ft, purple flowers)
  • Pink Butterfly Bush (6 ft, pink flowers)

Bottom terrace from the back:

  • Honeysuckle vine (trained to fence)
  • Purple sage (4-5 foot, purple tufted flowers)
  • Varigated sage (2-3 foot, interesting foliage)
  • Penstemon (2 foot, pink flowers)
  • White butterfly bush (6-8 ft, white flowers)

I’ve interplanted red flowering ice plant, white flowering ice plant, creeping thyme, and creeping rosemary, and hopefully some of the milkweed seeds will come up.

There’s a top tier, up from the jade plant, that tier has culinary sage, russian tarragon, white lavender (1 ft), a purple butterfly bush, lemon verbena, and the jacaranda tree, which will one day give light shade to my entire hill.

We picked up a kumquat tree while we were at Lowe’s Saturday.  I’m not sure what we should do with that, but I *might* see if DH wants to just put it in a pot.  They don’t get very big (6-8 ft), and we could use a patio tree.  It has fruit on it already, it’s not young.  Has a thicker trunk than my little orange tree does, for true.

It looks pretty mild now, but just you wait.  Work done today produces results for tomorrow… and I think that’s a concept that carries.



I think this is the best (minus the horrid lighting) vlog I’ve recorded.   I managed to capture a bit of the “real me”, not the facade.

All transformation has to start somewhere……

Drumroll please: W30 results

13yo hasn’t gotten up yet… but here are mine:

4lb off; 1/2″ gone from bust/hip/thigh; 1.25″ from waist

Non-Scale-Victories:  Consistent energy.  PMS symptoms non-existent to the point that my cycle surprised me.  Cycle was much easier on me, a little lighter, but my energy stayed nearly the same during, which is unprecedented.


So, pretty much what happened when I went off sugar/wheat before – minus the cycle stuff, which I don’t remember.  The bloat goes away (which is most of the weight loss and the waistline change) and I feel more consistently “me”.

Today we start reintroducing… it’s dairy day!  (I don’t care about the order.  13yo and I want our dairy back.  Now.)

I think her results will be more shocking – she looks a lot smaller.

Incremental changes

If you want to change your life, you have to change your habits – I’ve heard that said, and I think it’s true.  The thing is, we don’t always want to change our habits.

But I do want to change my life – and so I’m making new habits.  Just – incremental changes as I notice things that need to be different.  The question is, “do I want to be a person that does…?”

One of the big things I’m doing is going outside and visiting my garden every morning.  I climb the hill, I check the new plants, I sprinkle water on the seedling zones, if I have a hoe I chop out any weeds I happen to notice.  It’s a pleasant thing to do, and a good way to start the day.  (I must say, I am not going to have any trouble getting used to the smell of sage wafting into my house when I open the windows in the morning, or the sweet smell of butterfly bushes on the evening breeze.  Nope, no trouble with that at all!  And while the view is questionable, the birdsong is excellent.)

What that does is make two habits – a habit of movement, and a habit of ‘outside’.  (Also it gets me moving, period).  I’m hoping to keep those habits, have them hard-wired by the time the heat comes, or during the rainy season when climbing the hill won’t be advisable.


The next thing

The last week of this diet is supposed to be “Tiger Blood” but honestly I feel -however cleansed, however stronger in odd ways- drained.   I think, “I’m hungry” but … I don’t want any more allowed fats, I don’t want any more protein, and I don’t want any more fruit or veg.  I want dairy.  I was thinking, “I’d eat carrots” until I realized I just wanted the butter I cook the carrots in… Oy.

I’m going to get through but I don’t have to be cheering.  Instead, I spent some time flipping through my copy of Nourishing Traditions, which is my “next thing”.

The value of a hard reset like this is that you get your taste buds and your habits rewired.  Plus, after a month of extremely restricted eating, taking more time and trouble to get the best food value is less scary.  And I *do* feel better.

(Saying that I simultaneously feel better and worse is confusing, for which I apologize, I’ll try again.  I’d bogged up with sugar and wheat and eating progressively larger portions of rice and walked away from what I know to be best practice.  And my body felt it.   I was tired all the time, I was sugar dependent for that energy “bounce”, I was just run-down.  So – I don’t feel like that anymore.  My energy is constant.  My workouts show that my body is running properly.  I know I got the gunk out of my system.  But.  I just can’t get enough calories on this diet.  I’ve had two friends shake their heads at me… but I eat a LOT.  And since I’ve been hungry (no I don’t want any more eggs!) for a while now, I just feel depleted.  I will take July and cherish myself and refeed -very carefully- so as to get past this feeling of being drained without regaining weight.  I feel… well, I guess a good analogy is how you feel on antibiotics.  You can feel that the infection is gone, but the nausea gets old fast.  That’s what I’m saying.  I feel cleansed, but … I’m hungry, and being hungry makes me tired – deep tired, not surface tired.  If anything, the hunger makes it difficult to rest.)

So, what to do?  Well, I had toyed with staying Primal after the time was over, but I think my aim is going to be Nourishing Traditions instead.   What does that mean?  It means that I’m going to keep my sauce mojo going – my family LOVES sauces, and NT is heavy on sauce.  It means that I’m going to embrace ferments.  We already love kefir (well, sweetened kefir), yogurt, and sauerkraut.  It’s a little warm for much in the way of soup, but I can try a few cold soups – oh, how I can feel my body hungering for good soup. (Actually this reminds me, I think I’m going to drag some chicken broth out of the freezer, I think that will help my hunger).

It also means that I’m going to try some “properly prepared” (aka NT) grains when I’m doing my reintroduction.  Am I wheat intolerant, or do I just need it soaked?  (I think I am wheat intolerant, but I’m going to try spelt and see where that gets me – I know oats and rye like me).

I want to return to a diet that is truly health-enhancing for my body, a diet that helps me do the things I want to do – there are so very many things I want to do!

I also want to lose weight, and I want to feel good while I do it.  If I can find the foods that my body wants, I can give it those foods, and just reduce the amount slightly.   I know that crash diets are bad juju.

So, that’s where I’m going next – NT.  Have I done it before?  Eh.  I’ve done a few bits of it before, but *before* I thought halfway was good enough.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned… halfway is NOT good enough!!!