On being interested in people

…when you’re an introvert.

I like people.  I think they’re interesting.  But mostly people don’t think I’m interesting, because I’m really REALLY bad at medium level talk.  I’m good at small talk (had to learn, though I don’t like it much) and I’m wonderful at deep talk.  Whatever it is that gets you from point A to point B?  Uh.

This is hard, because I find people interesting.  So I want to get them to talk to me.  But not just “what” – if you tell me what, I want to know what led to that what, the chain of actions.  I want to know WHY.  If you’ll go deep and just keep talking, I’ll help you draw out some whys, just from the pattern of the whats.

Pattern recognition is a strength.

So anyway, I’m always frustrated ’cause I can’t get people to open up and get real.

Oh, btw, most folks don’t find mutual lists of things to be excited about and obsession chatter all that interesting.  I keep trying to use that as medium level talk, and it makes people go away.  That’s frustrating, too.  don’t you people have passions?  I don’t get it.

Another thing to accept is that I’m weird and not ever going to be the life of the party, even though I can chat to one friend for hours on end.   That I’m not going to be popular, no matter how many people tell me that I’m an awesome friend.

C’est la vie.  If people want to get to know me, I guess that’s on them.


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