Merry Christmas, folks! It’s Christmas morning as I write this… the first batch of presents have been opened, and we’re all borged up while we munch on breakfast before heading over to my folks’ house for Grandparent Christmas Time.
This was year three of the Christmas Eve Open House Party. It went well, the family came by, the food was eaten up (!) and everyone had a good time. *Somehow* everything (except cards) has gotten done – which is
amazing, considering 1) I sat on the couch, too sick to move for a week this month 2) I procrastinated anyway 3) we had a bunch of extra stuff going on… like getting solar panels, painting/re accessorizing the bathroom, and garage reorganization.
I’m happy. Duty has been well-completed.
But the “seasonal joy” is missing. I’m not sad or depressed or anything, I just can’t find any emotion. I’m happy to give presents and see folks, so when I was going to write that I have no Christmas spirit, I couldn’t – because that’s what you do on Christmas. Church was good this week (though I think Jesus was probably born during Sukkot, not in December). I went to a prayer meeting, which is always amazing. Nothing’s missing – except fun. I’ve “done the Christmas thing” and I’m ready to go do something else. Mission Complete.
I think that’s the thing – I’ve flogged myself the last couple of weeks frantically trying to get everything done, and the fun has just sucked out. But there is a week between Christmas and New Year’s – which mostly I spend sleeping and clearing up the Christmas mess. Haven’t left much of that this year (!) so maybe I’ll find the fun?
I’m really writing this because sometimes I read the comments y’all leave (esp over at HHH) and I feel like you think I’m someone I’m not. And I have heard a lot of folks say they “just weren’t feeling it” this year. I’m definitely not going to let my feelings get in the way of function next year – I think they did such a fine job this year that busyness stomped what few feelings might have bloomed back into the mud. I’m an experienced enough homemaker to know how to “do Christmas” – I just didn’t use that this time.
Lots of thoughts right now… but that is *exactly* what this week is for, introspection as the season of busy ends and before the New Year starts.