I’m a good style adviser – just ask any of my friends! They were threatening to print up business cards for a while there. 😉 But there’s a peril for those of us who really love bringing out the beauty and personality of the women around us – sometimes those ladies don’t want to be their most fierce and fabulous selves! (I know, it hurts).
I’m working through this with one of my oldest “clients”. I see a her as a translucent vision of near-angelic femininity… she sees herself as crisp, efficient and funny. (All of those are true, mind you). I have been trying to get her into some leaf-green chiffon for decades! And believe you me, if you saw her in the dressing room, you’d faint. But she won’t wear it. -sigh-
She doesn’t want to go there. And so my next job as her style adviser is to help her realize her vision of herself – to bring out the best lines for her figure, her best colors – but without sacrificing her sense of self. Without, more to the point, revealing more of her than she’s comfortable revealing.
I find this pretty common, to be honest. I have another friend who (again) wants to show her brisk, outdoorsy, strong and vigorous side – when I see her, I see all of that, but I see it with her womanly nature included, and I’m afraid I’ve picked amazingly sexy outfits for her. I’ll never forget the rainbow-fishscale bikini that I handed her as a joke and nearly choked when I saw on. Or the leather bustier. (Her boyfriend nearly choked when he saw *that* on). She doesn’t always want to be her fiercest – I remember the outfits we found for work, with plenty of punch and vroooom factor (not sexy, just Hello I’m Here!) and … she wouldn’t wear them. -sigh- She wore half of them, left the punch factor at home (pounds head into wall).
Most women DON’T want to be at the top of their game 95% of the time. For a special night out, for a special night in… but the rest of the time, no. We’re all afraid to be a little “too much”.
Accepting that, and dealing with it even while I encourage my friends and clientele to make a start at revealing their inner sparkle, is a challenge. I mean, why doesn’t everyone just let me dress them to the nines? -laughs- When you touch on someone’s sacred cow, they’ll decide that your advice is worthless and throw baby out with the bathwater – you have to be careful!
So the peril – and the art – is not merely finding what people’s colors are, it is to find the colors that reflect their personalities and their color needs (how much contrast, black, bright colors, etc), it is to find the style that reflects the inner woman – and melding that with the style that the inner woman is comfortable revealing to the outer world.
I’m good at this. But there is always more to learn – and it’s an art, not a science. I just keep learning!