Just playing

dsc05035DH really likes the broken dolly thing.

I need to work on my cracks.

Ignore the bits under my eyes – it developed that I am too old to wear the under-the-eyes fake lashes thing.

I’ll work on the fake lashes.  This is the first time I’ve had them on since the ’80s.


Gym Records

last night was the night of odd exercises… and my body wasn’t cooperative after the usual cycle break*, so it was just oddness everywhere.

Did the front squat with dumbbells @ a total of 40lb, which is about 50% for me.

Was going to do power clean & jerks, but coach put the kibosh on that.  Shorted those … I was really struggling.  Got up to 75lb, but I was just messy.  Terrible form.

Below the knee DL is what I have records of – and that was hilarious.  So, you prop the bar up on boxes, so that it’s just below your kneecap so that you can just lift from there up.  But I’m so short that when we did that, I ended up having to stand on two plates.  Oy.  Just OY.  So, 2 sets at 115, 7 reps; 1 set at 145 – 6 reps; 1 set at 175 – 3 reps.  I did my three sets of eight reps @ 145 – more wasn’t happening.

The banded KB pull throughs were skipped (or skimped) by nearly everyone because they were super weird and targeted the lower back more than anything else.  Did do a set of 25 regular kb swings @ 18lb after giving a go (probably 25 total) to the others.

Reverse hamstring curls is kneeling on the GHD machine and leaning forward.  Which is nervous making.  I do feel my hamstrings today.  I did some sets on the floor too.  I’m still a little scared of the GHD machine.

Carrying the barbell was.. interesting.  65lb is super light for me to stand with.  So I was like, Nooo problem, c’mon guys!  Then… ouch.    My body was fine (though I can feel my bellybutton today) but my shoulder girdle locked up nicely.   OW.


*I suffer from menorrhagia and I don’t – can’t – work out on cycle.  This time I should have stayed in that extra couple of days, forsure.   My energy wasn’t back.

Raw silk shirt: Question

My mom gave me a very short, very narrow length of raw silk some time ago, and I’d been saving it for something special.  Then I remembered that I didn’t have very *much*, so I’d better be looking for something fabric-frugal.  Well, my tried-n-true Sandra Betzina blouse is frugal…

And raw silk is gorrrgeous to deal with and touch and look at that drape, wouldya?

But.  It has age spots (the silk is about 35yo) and I can’t get them out.

Do I love it as is?  Or do I take off the buttons and dye it?

What do you think?



PS the buttons are also from Mom, they’re moose antler buttons from a trip that she and Dad took up to AK a few years ago.

Women’s Retreat Weekend

For the first bite of spiritual result, see HHH:  https://hearthtobelovely.wordpress.com/2016/10/16/be-not-weary-in-well-doing/

We had the retreat (MUCH more like a conference) at the Calvary Chapel Conference Center/Bible College, in Murrieta Hot Springs.  ON a hot spring, so there were hot springs around the property to sit in. The hottest hot spring (black) wasn’t meant for people to sit in, but the springs were piped down through streams and pools so that they’d gradually cool, until they got to the pond at the bottom.  Ducks and geese and mudhens enjoyed the pond, and so did I as I sat there.

Saturday I was able to spend some time in the hotsprings, which were nice.  Not all that hot, but very relaxing.

When I say it was a conference, not so much a retreat… I’d like you to just LOOK at this schedule:

Busy, busy, busy!

It was a good time, but I’m very tired.

Gym Records 10-10-16


Workout last night was pretty good.  I PR’d my overhead squat @ 83lb (that’s from a power-snatch, not from a rack, might have gone another 5-10lb with a rack).  Snatch is still difficult for me, getting underneath the bar isn’t my thing.

  • So, PS @ 53; 63; 73; 83

My coach needs a sign that says, “Control the Weight” for me.  I swear she tells me that every time I’m in.

  • Spent most of my time snatching trying to DO that, so stopped @ 63lb.  Someday, I’m going to sort this position out and then we’ll be cooking with gasoline.  But my body learns slowly.

Bench was good, really good.  I took my time on form and it showed – my sets were easy until the last lift or so.

  • 50% @ 63lb, 70% @ 83lb

Barbell suitcase carry… learned the hard way to carry the SHORT bar last time, so that was fine.

Barbell wipers – awkward, but fine.  Next time will go with heavier bar for ballast.  (Toes pointed, up at 90 degrees from hips while flat on back.  Feet 90 degrees to one side, then over to the next, while arms are braced up with barbell in them).


Diet:  I certainly haven’t lost any weight, but I’m feeling pretty good, even energy levels and all.  So, I will give mad props to the cheese & ryecrisp diet inclusion.  Have expanded my ryecrisps to include open faced sandwiches – anything is good as long as the bottom layer is creamy enough to offset the crisp factor.  Have not yet made oatcakes.  Did make roasted veg, which were good.  This week’s roasted veg may be a fail – I bought a beautiful big butternut squash (not ancestral, but a normal fall craving) and it’s stringy/soggy.    Might blend it into soup or something, we’ve had a cold snap (by which I mean I’m not wearing a tank top).  That would include some chicken bone broth into the mix, and which is also a nutritional powerhouse.


Talking to dog lady, things are sounding promising.

Never believe me when I say I’m giving up on a dream

It’s not that I’d deliberately lie to you… but I’m very good at temporary self-denial.  Key word:  Temporary.  I rock at stiff-upper-lip.  It’s only a flesh wound!!!

Remember this post?  https://hearthroses.wordpress.com/2016/08/21/preparing-for-change-a-bit-melancholy/

Um.  So, I was stressed out and looking at puppy pictures online, surfed over to the only breeder within a long day’s journey … and they were taking puppy applications.  I got excited.  Then I drooped, telling myself that I didn’t have a chance at a puppy (the breed I like is rare – the breeder I have my eye on has a litter every couple of years at most – I don’t plan to show or breed… all of that works against me).  And then I told myself that that was stinkin’ thinkin’ and I should at least TRY.  And then I told all of that to my husband who shook his head in amusement and told me to write the people already.

I’m on the waiting list.  -blinks-  Subject to approval of all three co-owners and enough puppies, I might be getting a Leonberger next January.


Yeah.  I do that, since we’re talking about weaknesses.  I’ll deny myself something until I snap.   I’ll give up until I think up a back way ’round to my goal – because I *never* stop thinking about how to achieve my goal, even when I officially give it up.  I never stop thinking, period.

And yes, I’d still like that place in the country.  I’d like my business to get off its rear end and start business-ing.  I’d like a lot of handmade clothing.  I have enough goals to share – does anyone need some?  (I do find it baffling when people say they can’t think of something to pursue.  I droop and wilt when I get discouraged, but I don’t run out of goals, just out of energy).

Anyway.  Just the idea that I might get a dog I’ve been dreaming about is cheering me up.  The whole “opening a business and not getting any business” is REALLY depressing, if you want to know why I’ve been shedding stress balls everywhere.  I mean, I’m GOOD at what I do… and I’m asking a fair price… oh well.  God willing it will all come together.


So why a Leo?

  1. I want a BIG dog.  I live half a mile from a homeless encampment.   Do I need to explain further?
  2. I am NOT a dominant person.  I can train an animal, but I’m not into being alpha all the time, it wears me out.  Therefore, a “sharp” breed is not a good choice for me.  No GSD, no Akitas, etc.  I want a deterrent, not an attack dog.
  3. I don’t mind fur, but I don’t do drool.  This eliminates Newfoundlands and some St. Bernards, as well as Mastiffs.  Plus Mastiffs raise your home insurance.
  4. I would like a healthy animal.  And there go the Swiss Mtn Dogs and the Bernese and their brethren.  Overbreeding & cancer.  :(
  5. I have a yard, but it’s small.  And I have cats.  No “hound” breeds and mostly no livestock guardians.  There’s a 6′ fence, I don’t need a dog who jumps it to go chase the coyotes.
  6. Yes, there are coyotes in them thair hills.  Dog bigger than coyote, see point #1.

Leos have more energy than most giant dogs, but they’re not Border Collies.  They’re rare, and most breeders care very much about their health.   They’re HUGE and furry and have a deep bark… but they’re big sweethearts who like to hang out with their people.

And … that’s why I have wanted a Leo.  :)

thanks for putting up with me…😀  Off to research raw diets, since that’s what this breeder feeds her dogs.

Imperfection doesn’t always have to be fixed

Have been thinking about this for a bit.  An INFJ thing is being a major perfectionist, and … yeah, that.  Not on things I do – I’m not OCD by any means – but in and of myself?  Er.  Success is the only option.  If I’m not perfect, I fail.  That’s not a functional way to live life, so here are some things I’m letting be.

  1.  When I’m stressed, I need lots of attention, lots of people telling me that I’m a good bunny.  Why?  Because (see above) I hold ***very high*** standards for myself, and I need to hear that I got into the game even if I didn’t hit the mark right off the bat.
    • This is super annoying for the people around me.  So … I make a joke of it, “Is Gooooood Bunneh?” or I take my needy self to the gym so the coach that I’m paying can tell me that I did my lifts correctly… aka that I’m a Good Bunneh.
    • I let myself use social media to get a few pets.  This isn’t actually all that functional, but it’s better than nothing.  Yes, I totally am confessing to using selfies to feel better about myself.  Yes, that’s totally NOT perfect.   I should be above that… but I’m not.  I have other fish to fry – I’ll come back around to this one another year.
  2. I do stuff in fits and starts.   I am the queen of working really hard and getting a pile of things done and being all things to all people… and then collapsing and taking a nap and watching stupid things on Youtube for a week.
    • So yeah, just accepting that maintenance isn’t my thing – and making lists of things to tackle when I’m in productive mode and *trying* not to beat myself up when I’m not.
    • I say this, but honestly the kids are still getting to school, dinner is still on the table, laundry is still done, the pets are fed, even when I’m floppy.  See point #1, being hard on myself.  I’d like to be in productive mode *all the time*.

Sometimes I just have to be okay with NOT fixing every little thing and being perfect every single second of life… sometimes, I just have to be okay with being a human instead.