I think things are going fairly well. Including a cheat evening/week has improved my mental stability – but I think I need to fine-tune the diet the rest of the time. I’m going to try to hit my protein macros and let the rest of the food take care of itself (so long as I stay on program). Hoping that reduces overall appetite/calorie intake.
So, why do I have a problem with the whole, “just count calories” thing? It’s a fair question, and it has two answers. 1) I have been on one too many diets and now I’m to a place where logging my food stresses me out. This is stupid, but it’s true. 2) I get really freaked out when I am hungry/not getting the right nourishment for long periods of time. And you can forget hungry AND tired. Nope.
It’s weird. I can fast just fine. I mean, discomfort here and there, but I don’t wig out at all. But just TRY to tell me that I should be “full” because I’ve eaten a large cubic volume of salad and I’ll snap. No, I’m NOT satisfied. I’m temporarily full and yes, I can feel that I’m still hungry. Don’t lie. (I can even feel what I should eat to give my body what it needs, whether that’s protein or carb or fat).
I think that stems from having malnutrition as a child. If you’ve bounced to HHH you’ve seen the entry about Hidden Beauty. China was (and likely still is) a land of exquisite craftsmanship and beauty. But in 1980, it was a country without enough food to go ’round, and that includes Foreign Experts. We had ration coupons. In one year, I lost 1/3 of my hair. I’m likely a few inches shorter than I would be if I hadn’t been there. I always had a full belly – and I was always, always hungry. (My folks lost a lot of weight too – BFF couldn’t get into a dress, at 15, that my mom had made for her right before coming home).
There’s nothing I can do about any of that. I have to take weight loss very consistently, very slowly, and very deliberately, taking my health into consideration the whole time. It’s not fun at ALL. It’s not fast. It’s frustrating and makes me feel badly about myself. I swear to you that except for my one cheat evening/wk, I don’t touch sugar. I’m not eating grains (okay, there were the potstickers DH asked for and I made from scratch, and I put 2tbsp of flour in the paprikash…) except that night either. It’s not low-carb (I eat a lot of potatoes and yams and fruit) but it’s a solid diet. -sigh-
So, a tune up. Not a change, just – make it a little better, little tighter.
The good news is that the workouts are the bomb. My coach takes amazing care of me. My ankle is substantially better – I have my range of motion (mostly, still getting used to wearing shoes for lifts) back. BBC is actively good for my ankle – I feel better after each. CF is not so much, but I’m there. Cardio capacity is … well, I’m showing up and doing the work. It will come back in time.
Today I found out that “cluster backsquat” actually was two moves – a “cluster” and a backsquat. What’s a cluster? It’s a squat-clean straight into a thruster. Would you like your heart rate to soar? K. Thrusters. Clusters too, I guess.
Instruction: Clean the bar, dropping into a full squat. As you stand up, press the bar above your head in a smooth push. (It’s *not* a clean & jerk, which allows you to reset at your standing position for the above-the-head part of the move). Not terrible.
Now do several of them in a row, no rest between each. It’s the pumping action of dropping, squatting, then standing/pushing a weight above your head… that’s why your heartrate goes into orbit. (Wall-balls do this too). It’s *not* the amount of weight. I mean, that makes it harder and your muscles work more. But it’s the pumping action that will get you. You can do this with 5lb weights and feel it.
Oh. It’s crossfit. “lifting weights faster”. So… my time for 9-6-3 clusters/backsquats (first you do your nine clusters, then nine backsquats, then back for more clusters) at 65lb was 5:50. That was over the time limit of 5 min. Oh well…. sometimes I get too disappointed in myself and them I’m like, “what are you THINKING”. Only at crossfit with the insane people (my husband claims I’m one of them) is this slow.
One day at a time. But that’s where we be.