Getting Back In My Head

Well, the book is off to its first readers, and I’ve been at my work for a month and a half now … and I’m starting to feel like “me” again.

Sometimes reclaiming yourself is in stupid things, like putting on a blouse that looks bad on the hanger but good on you.   That was this morning.

Sometimes it’s just in getting out from under a brick.   That was the book.

I’m insane, y’all know that, right?   I also had my coach change my workouts.  AND change my diet.   So stressful.  Yesterday I learned that I still get really frantic and weird about being tired.   I couldn’t have a nap (I was at work) and I couldn’t have a sugar, because diet… and I got so emo.

I’m not sure what to do with that information, but awareness is the first step to healing. See, I overeat when I’m tired.   Sure, I eat when I’m emo, but being sad or whatever lasts a day or two.  That doesn’t put on pounds unless you’re sad all the time, which I’m not.  (And I don’t OVEReat when I’m sad, I eat comfort food and make myself tea).

But 90% of my extra fat was put on during a season of stress when I ate to deal with chronic tireds.  And then didn’t take off after the season was over, so it piled up.

Again, not sure what to do with this – hello, calories = energy, so eating for tired WORKS.  But it’s good to have.  Good to know how freaked out I get by being tired.

Anyhow.

I have a lot of thinking and processing to do right now… so I’m doing some here.  🙂

Enjoy.

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Vest 1 Done

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I finished the first vest for my 18yo son.   Actually I finished it last week, but I didn’t post until now!   It’s not totally perfect, but it is good.  🙂  Tailored front w/haircloth between the lining and fabric, the back is fabric/lining, not just lining.   Welt pockets, fully functional (as he likes to use them for the pocketwatch his grandfather gave him).

And… I have sent my second book out for its first reading/commentary cycle.   Finished that up last night.  WHEW.  There’s something off my plate, for sure!  Just in time for the holidays, lol.

Self-Care and Big Changes

So, as you know, I started work three weeks ago.   God arranged a great job for me – I’m never going to be bored, it’s very fast-paced, it’s close to my kids’ charter school, gets out the same time they do, they’re Christians… it’s a GOOD THING.

But hello, now I have 25 hours a week in my schedule in work mode.  Plus whatever add’l time for getting work-gussied up and winding down.   And I am NOT giving up on … anything?  Well.  A little housework (theoretically), but otherwise nothing!

Obviously that’s not true.  I’m spending less time online (hello – not home) and in my desk chair generally (I get five hours in a row on my behind – my back needs a break).  But I’m not giving up my book, my sewing, my lifting, my ministries, my life…. which means I’m full on crazypants and I need balance.  (Some of that stuff IS my balance).

Since we’re all in different seasons of life, it makes me a bit grumpy when people compare my life with theirs as if it’s apples to apples.   Don’t.

First, my kids are both physically bigger than I am.  They can both cook.   They both have house-chores (although they ARE teenagers, which means I have to make sure those things get done).   This stage in life is highly valuable for THEM – because they’re getting a chance to take on more responsibility and learn how to do life things.    And I need to learn to let them do their thing and not get in the way (that’s hard for me).  So, being away is useful for everyone.  Adjustments happening.

Second, I’m very conscious of the master priority list, and I stick to it.   (I’ve written about this before).   God first.   Husband second.  Kids third.  Self fourth.  Extended family next, then friends, then paid work and volunteering.  I have to have this.  I’m a squish, and I’d be running all over if I mixed this up and didn’t remind myself of it.

Third, I practice self-care.   I know that I’m weak.  Being almost-46, I know where I need bouying up, and what happens if I don’t do what needs doing.   (Energy in youth is replaced with wisdom in age.  Pity one can’t have both).   The FIRST thing I do is pray.  My schedule right now IS crazy, and without God, just – forget it.

But I could have said, “well, I’m working now, and I’m more tired.  Why go to the gym?”  Heck to the no.   I’m fidgety and stiff and have been sitting entirely too much.   I’m actually planning to hit the gym an extra day once I get sorted.   And going to speak to my coach and pull the trigger on getting personalized programming for powerlifting/randomness.   Know thyself – I know I don’t have the speed or flexibility to do Oly lifting much better than I do it now.   But I’ve not reached peak strength.   And heavy lifting clears my head.  My body needs to be cared for – so, I’m caring for it.

I could have said, “I don’t have time for my hobbies”.  Yeah.  Maybe.  But I get weird if I don’t create.   So the sewing is slowed down, but still there.   The baking is slowed down, but still there.   My soul needs caring for, so I’m caring for it.   I’m following up on some new opportunities opening up… it’s a good thing, even though I’m pretty sure I’m a loon.

And the writing is slowed down – but still there.   The writing and eventually speaking are my Big Thing.   The book is still a very big deal.    No, I don’t have the time to crank 1000 words/day out right now.  But I do have time to work on it, regularly.   In fact, God shoved me to a local bakery between the kids’ school and my work where I can hang for the time between and get work done instead of wasting my time bopping back home.    Guess who got gifted dedicated time every work day to keep moving?  This gal.   Yes, I’m spoilt so rotten I don’t even know how you can stand the smell.   And DH bought a laptop for general purposes a couple of years back (God-cough-preparing-cough) so all I have to do is save the book to the cloud and.. yeah.

I *am* tired – more mentally than anything else.  So if you don’t see me around, it’s because my former need for interaction which I was satisfying via internet is no longer a need.  In fact, I’m tired-of-people and spending my evenings in my bedroom (where I don’t even have to listen to family noise) reading!

Priorities.

And now, it being the weekend before thanksgiving, and having had a mouse in my kitchen, there’s some cleaning to be done.   Donning my headphones and getting off my behind again – which didn’t want sitting on anyway.

 

Stripes

This is a wonderfully comfortable dress, and very flexible.  What it is not, is my typical dress – it’s not tightly fitted to show off the curves.  I thought – belt – but it doesn’t want a belt, it looks odd.  (The shirt likewise doesn’t want a belt – I’m pretty sure that’s the pattern, not the fabric at this point, crispy linen and soft lawn being fairly different to the hand).

Can wear – as shown.

Can also wear over jeans as a shirt-topper, unbuttoned.

Can wear tucked into a skirt (probably – the shirt doesn’t like being tucked).

The Hawaiian lawn is still on sale on fabricmart for $5/yd- don’t know if this pattern is still left, but there are others, and the fabric is TO DIE FOR.  Very soft, very smooth, very easy to sew with.   If you live in a hot place, consider this seriously for your sewing stash.

Stripe matching was achieved – I messed up the back and had to piece it, which finished the dress a couple of inches shorter than I’d planned.   I changed the collar and button placket to a stripe of my favorite color, both to make sure that the favorite color was nearest my face, and to not have to use a walking foot to keep the stripes even on the button placket (a torture to avoid, IME).

This is a lengthened version of the ivory blouse – all I do is cut longer than the original hem on an angle so I have room to sit.

I have two more lengths of this for DH, his Hawaiian shirts need replacing.  But I have a ton of sewing to do anyhow.

In other news, I’m two weeks into the new job.  It’s good.  NICE people.  Seriously – awesome place to work.  Not ever bored, lots to learn, lots to juggle.   That’s fine.

Trying to juggle myself, after 20 years of being home?  That’s a bit more interesting.  So I”m going to take the rest of today and see if I can unwind a bit  :P.  Apparently trying to do all-the-things makes for a slightly crazy Hearth.

A cutting evening

As promised, I ordered vest material for my son… and completely forgot to check inventory on my hair canvas.   So, when I opened up my fabric chest, I found all I had was remnants.   Bits and pieces – more than enough to do a cuff or collar or make a purse, but NOT enough to line the front of a vest.    (Which is what you do with tailored things).

So, first I ordered that.   Then I thought, well – I made this purple plaid cape for my daughter some years back, but the plaid is more his color (Spring) than her color (Summer).    I wonder if I can cut a vest?  And if he’d like it?   Asked, he said he was in.  (He likes wearing vests).  I had enough to cut the vest and now I’m down to just remnants there.  Double win, people.   I have too much fabric.

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The blue that I ordered him from fabricmart – I got the end of a bolt, so they sent me the next bit, and I have enough to make a vest for DH too.   Which *he* said *he* was down for.  -pleased face-  (It’s more his color than my son’s, but 18yo loves the color, so it’s all good).   In other words, I ordered five yards of hair canvas.  😉   I’ll run to Joann’s this weekend and grab some lining fabric for all.  NOT bemberg, I think that stuff is masochism on a bolt.   Something else slippery and relatively light.  I liked the crepe-backed polysatin I used for my dad, I could deal with a lighter version of that.

Cutting two vests for my son (I will have to make a new vest muslin for my husband) didn’t take me much time.   And then I couldn’t really get to sewing much, so I decided to cut a dress for myself.   Fabricmart had a big sale on Hawaiian print lawn, and I bought two lengths for DH and one length for myself.   (It was $5/yd, I couldn’t resist).   I thought a shirt-dress would be cool, and I just finished that ivory shirt that was fit very well – if I lengthen it to knee length, it should work.

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And so.

Trying to use my time well…  I got a job, and I start Monday, so I’m going to be reshuffling and compacting life and handing jobs off to teenagers.   Should prove entertaining.  I have so much to do – and SO much sewing on backlog.  Exciting!

Blackwatch Plaid

I made a second jumper for 14yo.  Same pattern as the skulls (I just have it pinned rather than draped to Betsy).   Hanging the hem for a couple of days – I expect this fabric to drop.

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She’s going to love it.   The cotton flannel is so soft and snuggly…

BUT.

It won’t last.  I sent out for this fabric with my order of the second bit of skull fabric, I thought 14yo could use a second dress, and that would skip paying for shipping.

I’m not thrilled.  I’ve bought a few pieces of fabric off of fabric.com – and all of it has been about Joann’s level of quality.  (Not.High).  It’s going on my list as the place to shop when I want something very specific (like skulls) but not necessarily something quality.  I’ve about a 90% success rate with fabricmartfabrics.com – I’ll stick to them for my basic stuff (and Mood for the Good Stuff).   They run sales constantly – if you sew, please go over and register for their emails.   It’s worth waiting for your desired bit to go on sale, the sales are REALLY good and the fabric has been quite good.

This fabric is very thin, it stretches off grain if you look at it hard, and it’ll be pilled in 5-10 washes.  After the first bit of wrestling, I stopped worrying about trying for perfection and just let it be.   I’m normally sniffy about getting my plaids matched (the pinnacle was plaid-matching a princess-seamed shirt) and … yeah, no.    Whatever.  She’s 14.   Horrible Things were going to happen to it anyway.

But it will be cute for the moment.  And it gave me a break from writing, which I needed.  Next up, I’ve promised to sew something nice for 18yo in vests.   He’s seriously owed.

To shop!

Real. Always real. Go Truth!!!

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Real sourdough bread.  Made from scratch.  On a cloth made from scratch.  (Thank you, Fiber! Yes, I use them!)  Further “realed” with fresh eggs from one of my coaches/friends into french toast and organic strawberries.  INSANELY filling breakfast… I only ate one slice.  (Of course I am incapable of slicing thin slices of homemade bread, so there’s that).